I know none of you read Jack Reacher novels, but...

[cairistiona]

... you all know that those pulp thrillers are my ultimate guilty pleasure and therefore... 

I.MUST.VENT!!!

Why?  Because a film has been in the works for probably years, and now they've announced who's in talks to play 6'5", 240 lb, dirty blond, icy blue eyes, not especially pretty, built like a tank, tough guy drifter Jack.  Is it Viggo Mortensen?  Liv Schrieber?  Russell Crowe?  Chris Hemsworth?  Michael Fassbender?  Any of these big, "real men" kind of actors who are less about looks (though most have them in spades) than about their ability to channel strong and silent like John Wayne and Gary Cooper? (And, okay, Viggo, not so much big, but he's played those cold-eyed, big-hearted sort of tough guy roles perfectly and except for  his age, is a lot of fans' first choice for Reacher, since Clint Eastwood is 127 now.  And he carried off playing a 6'6" king pretty well...).

But alas, no.  None of those seem to be the "one".

It's... Tom Cruise.

Please, someone just stab my eyes with sporks and be done with it.

Now, nothing against Cruise.  I *like* him.  I don't hold his rather, um, odd religious views (apologies if any of you are Scientologists) or even his couch-jumping against him (I'm probably the only one on the planet that thought his enthusiasm for his lady love was kinda cute).  I know how to separate the man from the actor, and for certain types of roles, he's among the best.  I enjoyed Mission: Impossible and Rain Man and even Knight and Day.  Cruise is charming in that sort of intense-crazy-eyed way of his, and there's certainly nothing to complain about the visuals when he's on the screen.  But I can't buy him as Jack Reacher.  I just... can't.   Reacher is the quintessential strong and silent type.  After all, one of the famous taglines from all the books is, "Reacher said nothing." (You can even get that on a t-shirt!)  So if you cast Cruise, it'd be like casting a non-stop yapping chihuahua as a quietly dangerous mastiff.    And I'm not exactly against Cruise for his size--see again Viggo as 6'6" Aragorn.   So height or lack thereof can be overcome.  And I've long decided, since 6-4 blonde, blue-eyed hulks who can act with the subtle restraint necessary to convincingly portray Reacher are kind of few and far between, that height wasn't an issue as long as everything else was there.  But with Cruise... everything else *isn't* there.   He's small in build--no one would ever feel intimidated by him just standing there breathing like the baddies in the books do when they're up against Reacher.  And "subtle restraint" has never really seemed to be part of his arsenal, although I suppose he might surprise me like he did with his nearly unrecognizable turn in Tropic Thunder.  But to my mind, Reacher needed a Viggo or Fassbender type who can speak with his eyes and subtle shifts of his body... and then turn around and explode into someone who can sink an aircraft carrier with one good head butt and not even come away with a headache.  That's who Reacher is, and I'm just not convinced that that's who Tom Cruise can be.

So... I just... ugh... this news has me pretty much spluttering incoherently. *sigh*

And what does Lee Child, the author and creator, think of this?  He reportedly says that Reacher's size is a "metaphor for his unstoppable force" and that "Cruise has unstoppable force of his own" or some such twaddle.  I think he's just trying to make the best of a potentially disastrous casting choice.  Damage control spin, in other words.  

The fans are going berserk all across the blogosphere.  I've yet to see any positive "Maybe this might work" comments--mine here are about as measured as they've been.  Blogger and screenwriter Drew McWeeny said it best, "My first reaction is to kick my computer into little pieces then run outside and bellow impotently at the sky in rage." 

Yeah.  I can relate.  

*sigh*

Comments

[ellynn-ithilwen.livejournal.com]

I haven't read Jack Reacher so I don't have his image in my mind, but I understand how you feel. I am a big fan of Guy Gavriel Kay (I am sure I told you about it). There were rumors about making a movie based on his novel "The Lions of Al-Rassan". If it will ever be made, I won't watch it. Kay created such perfect world, and such perfect characters, and I am afraid that they can't be shown well in the movie. I am afraid that watching the movie would only ruin my vision of the book.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

There is a sort of dread vs hopefulness that comes any time you hear about a favorite book being adapted to screen--you hope that it will be as good as your imagination, and sometimes it is, but more often it's not, so you really have to temper your expectations. I've never had a bad film adaption ruin the book for me, though, and this one wouldn't either. If it's horrible, I'm sure I can just shrug off the film and keep enjoying my own vision of the book (I had to do that with every single film adaption of Dick Francis' mystery novels... none of them were any good, in my opinion, and none matched my vision at all. But I still devour Dick Francis books and keenly miss new ones now that he's passed away).

But even tempering my expectations didn't really prepare me for the idea of Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. I have discovered with this that there are definitely limits to my open-mindedness about film adaptations!

[vamp-ress.livejournal.com]

And here I thought Hollywood had finally learnt that Tom Cruise actually keeps people *away* from the cinema.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Some people, assuredly, but as I said... I do actually like him in certain roles. Just not this one!

[vamp-ress.livejournal.com]

I don't care for him much, but I admit I was positively surprised by his performance in "Interview with the Vampire".

But I guess he made the whole German populace hate him by portraying Stauffenberg...

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

I didn't see that movie... but do the Germans hate him because they felt the role was miscast or because he bungled it or Germans don't like Stauffenberg or.... ?

[estelcontar1.livejournal.com]

I've never read any of the Reacher novels, but because of you I have a pretty good idea how he should be played, and Cruise, if you ask me is a most disastrous choice. So, it's no wonder you're ranting.

Is there any chance, they powers that be will change their minds?

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Is there any chance, they powers that be will change their minds?

I suppose so, since it's just in the "talks" stage now. And if you go by Stuart Townsend and Aragorn, I suppose they could always say, "Um, this isn't working" if it's not. But I somehow doubt they'd do that to someone with the stature (and I use that in its most ironic sense) of Tom Cruise.

[estelcontar1.livejournal.com]

LOL. I'm keeping all my fingers and everything else I can think crossed the "talks" backfire. Cruise may decide he doesn't want the part. If he has some discernment I think there's a good chance he will.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Or if he lacks discernment, let's hope he at least has an internet connection and sees the outcry. LOL

[estelcontar1.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear. LOL

[yadiful.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the novels, but with the way you describe Reacher and all of his manly man-ness, when I got to the name "Tom Cruise" I literally made this face: D:

Bleh.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

I literally made this face: D:

You and about five billion others! I'm surprised Hollywood didn't feel a hot breeze from the ire and wrath of Reacher fans everywhere.

[rs9.livejournal.com]

Uggh...I'm sorry. I'll try to look for "sporks" to help you stab your eyes out..but will forks do? Typo..right? You must have been plenty upset!

There's nothing like getting the wrong actor to spoil the image of a well loved character! I don't care much for Tom Cruise (it must have been the jumping on the couch bit), but I must admit he is a very good actor. But I don't think he can realistically pass for a 6'5" 240 lb. character--good actor or not!

But hey, he might surprise you, right?

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

But hey, he might surprise you, right?

That remains my only hope. Well, besides talks falling through and Cruise not getting the role after all.

And no, sporks is not a typo. They're those plastic spoons you sometimes get at fast food places that have little mini tines on the end. A combo spoon and fork, ergo: spork. Here's a link to a picture:

http://www.traderscity.com/board/products-1/offers-to-sell-and-export-1/biodegradable-spork-cutlery-disposable-142158/

[lissas-elves.livejournal.com]

I wondered about that one, too. Cruise physical appearance will make quite a few of the story lines seem totally meaningless.

But then they'll probably just change the plot....

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

But then they'll probably just change the plot....

And they might as well change the name, too...

[lissas-elves.livejournal.com]

Well, that might be better; at least one could pretend it was a totally different story. *g*

Oh, forgot to say that I actually read a couple of Reacher novels, although it was several years ago.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

I thought from you comment that you might have read one or two, but then again, I've rambled about them here so I thought maybe it was just from that. So you know exactly how wrong Cruise would be!

Do you remember which ones you read?

[lissas-elves.livejournal.com]

Didn't see your reply until now (went to a birthday party last night): I don't recall the title of the book and it'd probably not make sense anyway since I read it in translation, but it was about an abduction of a woman.

Actually I found the other novel on my shelves this morning - I'd completely forgotten about it! - which I bought on a vacation a while back and never got around to reading, but now it's scheduled to be read during this summer's vacation. It's called 'The Enemy'.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

The first one sounds like "The Hard Way", which wasn't one of my favorites, but I did enjoy "The Enemy" quite a lot. My favorite of any of them so far has been "Tripwire", and his last two books, which kind of need to be read one immediately after the other because "61 Hours" is a real cliffhanger. Hubby gave them both to me for Christmas and I'm very glad he did. :)

[radbooks.livejournal.com]

I hate it when they do that!! Here's hoping they listen somewhat to the blogosphere and wise up... it seems like the really smart producers do that now. You want to tap into that built in audience. I know there are a couple of series of books that I've enjoyed and I know the movie rights have been purchased and I worry about them making them the right way.

I've never heard of these books though... some sort of detective/mystery book?? I don't usually read those, but maybe I'll give one a try. I'm just finishing up "The Name of the Wind" and I've really enjoyed it although it's turned out a lot different than I thought it would after I started it a couple of months ago! (I set it aside to read other things and then just picked it up again on Friday! I'm not that slow of a reader. *grin* ) I assumed it would be much more of an action/fighting sort of book since it started out that way, but of course it's all about his growing up years and schooling, etc... at least so far. Interesting style with the little interludes back to the present to remind you he's telling the story.

Sorry to post such a long note! :)

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

First off, never apologize for long comments... I love long comments. It feels like real conversation!

And yes, "Name of the Wind" isn't exactly a high action tale but more of a coming-of-age tale... although he doesn't come completely of age in that one. I'm halfway through the next one, and like you, I had to put it aside because I went on vacation, and now I'm deep in another book ("The Blade Itself" by Joe Abercrombie) and I have to get it and a couple other library books read before I can get back to Kvothe's continuing adventures.

And the Reacher books are modern thrillers, basically. Jack Reacher is a former Army MP, who was honorably discharged in the "peace dividend" cutbacks. He was raised on military bases all over the world, being the son of a lifelong Marine, so now he's determined to see the country he's been fighting for all his life. He drifts from place to place owning only the clothes on his back, that he throws away when they're too dirty and buys new ones, his expired passport and a toothbrush. And somehow he always finds himself "problem solving", which usually ends up involving his fists and always his wits. He's a smart cookie but doesn't always find the answers in time, and then of course, he kicks himself all over the place even while he's frantically trying to get through the crisis he couldn't avoid. The books are a teeny bit formulaic, and a teeny bit implausible (or a lot, if you're a stickler for plausibility). And Jack Reacher is a wonderful heart-of-gold tough guy. Who looks NOTHING like Tom Cruise. LOL

[lilybaggins.livejournal.com]

I haven't read these but I FEEL your pain. I'm sorry, but having Tom Cruise playing ANY role dear to my heart would kill me. I remember reading about his going to New Zealand to meet with PJ---remember that? My heart STOPPED when I read it.

http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2009/08/26/33309-and-bilbo-is-tom-cruise/

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd forgotten about that... what a bizarre rumor that was!