Writing meme...

[cairistiona]

Because I'm in the mood to talk about myself. XD

Stole it from suzll


1. Describe your comfort zone-a typical you-fic.

I'll alway default to h/cccccc laced with humor, either reading or writing.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Not a trope, but I've always wanted to try satire. Never seem to be able to get my mind to work that way, though.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

A trope? (I'm still not entirely sure how fandom uses that term, because I default to the literary definition, not the fandom definition...) but the only genre/trope/scene whatever you want to call it that I won't write is probably smut. I'm just not good at it, for one (I've tried, it's hilariously bad and no, I'm not going to show it to anyone), and most of the time, in fanfic, smut is basically PWP, which I'm not interested in, though I do love a well-written, non-purple-prose love scene that has a deeper meaning than just for tittilation and voyearistic wish fulfillment. I just read a great "Bucky's last night before shipping out" love scene one-shot that moved me to tears, it was so well done and woven through with such melancholy (Chapter 19 of "A Thousand Scattered Pages" by JayRain, if you're interested--that's a compilation fic so you can read any chapter as a free-standing fic. It's definitely adult-oriented material.) That kind of thing I like, but it's hard to find in fanfic.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

How long is a piece of string?  I mean, seriously, there are so many ideas jumping around in my brain it's like my head is one of those old-school 1970s-era see-through domed popcorn poppers. Most of my ideas these days are in the Captain America fandom (sorry, but the LOTR muse seems to have gone dormant). I suppose the main idea I'm nurturing for writing in the future when I'm done with my current WIP is the idea of Bucky Barnes being whole and well and on a mission with Cap, something that we never really got in the comics post-Winter Soldier. Seems like the comicbook writers are determinted to keep them apart when it'd be great fun to see them together again with the ret-conned dynamic instead of the "teen sidekick" dynamic of the original 1940s stuff (which is great fun, but I need to see them together as equals).

5. Share one of your strengths.

Keeping suzll's answer: dialogue.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Sentence structure. I have a tendency to use the same type of sentence over and over, something I try to weed out in each successive draft.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

From my current story, You Will Call Me Friend, chapter three, where Steve has to do some fast and fancy first responder stuff on a very gravely injured Bucky (who has a collapsed lung):

Steve got the knife back out and without any hesitation cut completely through Bucky's jacket and shirt. He ran his hands along Bucky's left side, even lifting him slightly to feel under his back. "Good, no open wound at least. Didn't think there was, but had to check." He lowered Bucky back down. "Okay, here's what's gonna happen…"

Bucky shook his head.

"You don't want me to do anything or just don't want to know?"

Bucky held up two fingers.

"Okay. I won't tell you. Just close your eyes and try to breathe."

Bucky followed orders. Or tried to. Closing his eyes was easy; breathing, not so much. He felt part of himself disengage, almost like he was floating free from the cage of his body. It happened that way, usually. He'd get hurt on a mission, drag himself in barely breathing, and then just… go somewhere else while the doctors did what they had to do.

Pain was temporary, after all.

I like the entire chapter it's from, because I used the h/ccccc to subvert the fanon that Steve Rogers is an incompetent idiot who can only stand by Bucky wringing his hands, plus to give a nod to Sam Wilson's mad pararescue skills by creating a headcanon that he trains some of the Avengers in pretty advanced emergency field medic procedures. But I like this smaller section of that chapter in particular because it succinctly sums up Bucky as he is post-Winter Soldier. He's strong, he's stoic to a degree, and he trusts Steve so implicitly that he doesn't need to know what Steve's about to do. But at the same time, a part of him is falling back on his Winter Soldier techniques of handling all the pain that HYDRA inflicted on him. I don't know if readers see it, but there's a lot of heartbreak in that one little passage, particularly the last line, which can be viewed as a strength or a horribly sad way of looking at life as one pain being temporary but always followed by more pain.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Again, from You Will Call Me Friend, I love this entire exchange because it goes from fun banter to a very emotional moment. It follows the canon of Captain America: Civil War, showing Steve's piloting skills while again subverting the toxic "Steve is technologically incompetent" fanon. It also expands on the teasing dynamic that both men pick back up again in the movie, despite Bucky's severe trauma, something that I absolutely love about the movie... they let Bucky be healed to the point where he could not only remember their old dynamic but also find it as comfortable--and comforting--as a favorite pair of newspaper-lined shoes. (Also, the pterodactyls are how Bucky thinks of the butterflies in his stomach... he's a bit of a nervous Nelly at this point of the story):

"How do you know where to land?"

"I point the plane in the heading she gave me, plus she said ceilings were 800 feet. We'll break through this cloud cover right about… now."

Sure enough, the clouds thinned and Bucky could see an airport in the distance, one of its runways pointing straight at them. It seemed very small and very narrow and too far down for how close it was getting. "Are you coming in low enough?"

"Yes, Bucky."

"It looks like we're coming in too high."

"We're not too high, Bucky."

"You sure?"

Steve gave him a sideways glare. "Did I not get us safely all the way to Siberia?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Did I not then get us off the ground and all the way here?"

"Yeah, bu—"

"I. Can. Land. The. Plane."

"Fine." Bucky pulled on the seat harness, but he couldn't buckle it one-handed. "Don't crash. I'm not buckled in."

A knot formed on Steve's jaw. "For the love of God, Bucky, we're not going to crash!"

"Okay."

"Okay."

Silence fell. Pterodactyls soared and swooped. Bucky bit his lip as he watched the runway grow larger and larger. He questioned the wisdom of coming up to the cockpit. He questioned the meaning of his life. He questioned so many things all at once that it made his head hurt, so he finally leaned his head back and shut his eyes.

Steve said, "Thought you needed to see," because Steve was an ornery little shit.

"Shut up and fly the damn plane."

"Technically, I'm landing the plane."

"Why are you like this?"

Steve's only reply was a chuckle that, even though Bucky couldn't see his face with his eyes closed, had smirk written all over it.

"God help Wakanda," Bucky muttered. "They have no idea they're letting the world's biggest asshole cross their border."

"Correction: assholes. If I'm one, it's because of the undue influence of the one I grew up with."

Bucky slowly smiled. Couldn't really argue with that. "Damn right, pal. And don't you forget it."

"I won't if you won't."

Bucky opened his eyes and said with all seriousness, "If I do, be sure to remind me."

Steve must have gotten something in his eye, because he started blinking hard. He didn't look at Bucky, but reached over to squeeze the back of Bucky's neck. He gave his hair a tousle before returning his hand to the yoke. He coughed, then said, "Sure thing." If his voice wobbled a little, Bucky wasn't going to point it out. The lump in his own throat wouldn't let him.

Bucky swallowed hard, then watched in admiration and relief as Steve landed the plane smoothly on the runway.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?
Um, probably my last LOTR WIP, which I'm still stuck on. It's the continuation of Bowen Rushlight's story and includes a lot of heavy plotty things and a lot of possible directions for certain characters, namely my OC Rangers, that I just can't seem to pin down which is the best to take. Thus the reason it's languishing on the back burner. I don't know if I'm prepared to go in the direction the story seems to want me to go. *sigh*

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?
Probably my current one, You Will Call Me Friend. It's a gapfiller for Captain America: Civil War, my take on the moments after Steve drops the shield all the way to Bucky going into cryo (and probably a little bit beyond). It's the first time I've posted while I'm still writing, which is something I've always been afraid of doing, but this one has a distinct end, so all I have to do is keep the thing aimed at that while I let the story move at its own pace, lingering on emotional moments both angsty or funny or angry or whatever.

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Mostly a fun hobby at this point in my life. Would sort of love to make money at it, but... and here's my unpopular Internet opinion... the way books are scrutinized for every possible violation of social justice/political correctness/etc makes me hesitant to try to get anything published. Inclusion is necessary, don't get me wrong, but the way publishers (of anything from comicbooks to novels and also TV & movies) are going about it makes a lot of stories these days very predictable. You know based on gender, race, etc who will be good and who will be bad and who will die and who won't die. Plots currently seem thin and designed to meet inclusion goals more than serving a story that takes the reader on a guessing game until the very end. The overall climate right now is far too shake-the-pitchforks-and-burn-at-the-stake for perceived sins against progressiveness. I have a hard time writing in that type of atmosphere, because if I'm going to do original fic, I want every possibility for every character to be on the table, without the need to save certain ones because someone will screech that they're offended because, say, I only killed a character for man-pain or because I'm homophobic or for whatever reasons. Maybe I'm just not brave enough to go there right now, I don't know. I just know that right now, there's an attitude that certain races/creeds/religions/genders are to be put on a pedestal and can never have flaws, and that's not how the human race really is. But for now, that seems to be the requirement in publishing. Maybe in a few years, there'll be a better balance where you can explore flawed characters as flawed humans and not be accused of any latent -phobias or -isms. For now I'll just stick with fanfic.

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Not "episode" but characters:

In Captain America, just about anything with Bucky Barnes inspires me greatly. He's such a complex character, full of heroism but also with a past filled with the worst sort of absolutely forced villainy... fans see him as a victim, rightly so, but he doesn't see himself that way, whether he's accepting the consequences for all he's done or finally rising above his past to reclaim his life. He's a fighter and strong and incredibly inspiring to me.

In LOTR... these days I'm most inspired by Halbarad's loyalty to the point of death for the King he loves. There's a lot of similarity, actually, between Halbarad and Bucky. Both men are stalwart supporters of the main hero. Both men "died" in the service of their respective leader/friend. Halbarad fortunately didn't have to go through the same hell after "death" as Bucky (*sideeyes without further comment mrowe *) but both basically had the same type of role and the same attitude of unflinchingly following their leader into the jaws of death.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Don't overuse dialogue tags. Write what the characters actually say so strongly that the tags are unnecessary.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
"Never use adverbs." So stupid. Sure, don't *over* use them, but well-placed adverb is well placed.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?
In Captain America, You Will Call Me Friend.
In LOTR, At Hope's Edge.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Okay, see this is where I part ways with ship-happy fandom these days. I take the pairings that exist in canon and use them as needed in stories, but I don't sit around thinking about who my OTP is or anything like that. But fandom these days seems to be solely defined by "you must ship or you're not in fandom". Erm, no. So I refuse to answer this on general curmudgeonliness. Now get off my lawn.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
If it's a very complex story, I'll write it out of order at times (which is why I don't write and post as I go, usually). But mostly I write in a linear fashion.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

I've tried, but they don't really work for me. I end up going off outline and the outline thus becomes a waste of time.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Not really, other than the actual characters themselves. I use the word "muse" because every fandom writer seems to, but in reality, it's just my brain and the characters I'm writing that either work together or get in a squabble and part ways at times.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Any time the house is quiet and everyone's gone and the pets are asleep.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
Depends on the chapter but usually I run at least 3-4 drafts, sometimes more, and sometimes I'll have to start a whole new version that I'll call, just using my current WIP chapter as an example, "Chapter 12 Take 2 draft 1".

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style.
My styles for both LOTR and Captain America are very different from each other, but within each, the style hasn't really changed much. Rewriting either in the style of the other would be... wierd. What's improved is my word choice and sentence structure, concise prose etc. If I start rewriting something old I won't be able to stop revising and my current stuff will languish!

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?
At Hope's Edge, which I actually have started to revise. Nothing major, just cleaning up the prose, toning down the emotion a tad bit here and there--or if not toning it down, just not wallowing in it so much. I figure I might eventually post it to Ao3, but I'd leave the original versions on SoA and NaN. I'm not a fan of taking down my works and revising and then re-posting... people do it and that's fine, but if I did it, there's a part of my brain that knows I'd be doing it because I'm fishing for more reviews and I don't want to go to feed the egotistical monster in my head. But if I do post a revised AHE at Ao3 or ff.net, I'd be posting it for a different audience (probably), so yeah. Revising it would need to happen if I ever do that.

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Nope. I'm so dadgone picky about how it looks before I ever post that I haven't had to go back and take down anything. So far.

25. What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who knows canon well and is able to give balanced, detailed feedback, both praise and critique. With LOTR, both the betas I relied on heavily are no longer active in fandom, for various reasons (and that, to be honest, is another reason I don't write LOTR fic these days... they were a vital component of my process and I feel like I'm imposing on their busy lives asking them to beta these days). For Captain America, I have a perfect team of betas, imbecamiel, nefhiriel, and mrowe. They all bring different beta techniques to my story and give me a good balance. And I have a feeling they wouldn't mind helping out with LOTR should the muse return. *g* (And also I would add suzll to that mix when I return to LOTR writing, because she has beta'd for me with LOTR and gives excellent feedback.)

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I do, though less these days than I used to. I'm a lot more picky about who I beta for... I've been burned a few times by people who ask but don't like the detailed critique I give, which pretty much tells you what you need to know about how I beta. I'm kind about it, but I don't pull punches if I feel something is off, whether it's an illogical plot twist, a deus ex machina, an OOC moment, or simply too much "telling" instead of "showing" (and of course grammar and punctuation etc). I've found out the hard way that that kind of beta only works for writers who really want to improve. It's a little too overwhelming for writers who are just dabbling because they want to have fun. Given I know no other way of doing it, the pool of writers for whom I beta is pretty small.

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

I've done them... not really wild about them because I have such strong feelings about characters and writing style that I'm not really a writer who gets along well with others! LOL But I've done some round robins when I've been able to shut off the obnoxious control freak. Those were fun.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oh gosh. I think I'll abstain. Too many to narrow down to just three. And I don't want to inadvertantly hurt someone's feelings by not including them. If you're interested in who I like, just go to my favorites on any of the archives.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Hmmmm, that's an interesting question. I can't think of any off the top of my head at the moment, but I'm sure there's bound to be some.

30. Do you accept prompts?

Rarely. It's a big thing over at tumblr but my brain doesn't work very well with prompts.

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

With LOTR, I'm pretty strict about canon compliance. Captain America, not *as* strict though I try to keep the characterization as close to canon as I can. But comics are nothing BUT AU from author to author to MCU, so I feel like there's a lot of freedom to explore the characters in new situations there.

32. How do you feel about smut?

I've mentioned already that I don't really read smut, at least not as fandom usually writes it as a PWP thing. But a good tastefully-done love scene, even if it's explicit, can be very moving.

33. How do you feel about crack?

I'm assuming you mean fic and that you're not offering me illicit drugs. Not my favorite, though sometimes I'll read one that'll put me in stitches.

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Depends on the story. I feel like there's been non-con in Bucky Barnes' past under HYDRA and I'm not afraid to reference it obliquely, though I don't see myself ever writing those moments in detail. In general, if it's handled tastefully and in a mature way and not just to titillate, then I don't have a problem with it as far as me personally needing warnings to stay away, etc. It all depends on how the writer uses it, I guess. There's an element of the Captain America fandom that writes what's called Hydra Trash Party fic that basically is a lot of fics about Bucky getting raped... those are non-con/dub-con that I will never read. Ever. (I think that's sort of the same kind of thing as all the Legolas-gets-raped stuff? Just not my cuppa at all.)

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Probably not. I'm not a fan of deathfic AU. I write fic to see MORE adventures, not to kill off my favorites.

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Oddly enough, these days it's ff.net. That's where I get most of my reviews (201 on You Will Call Me Friend compared to only 127 (the number after I subtract my replies) at Ao3. And of those 201 ff.net reviews, most are very detailed and full of meta, not just "loved it, write more", though there's some of those as well. Ao3 is okay... but people there tend to rely on leaving kudos instead of actual comments, and I like the conversations that ensue as a result of a reader leaving a comment. FF.net readers simply seem far more willing to chat. And honestly, Ao3 is very ship-heavy, or at least it is in the Captain America fandom. Non-shipping/gen/brotherhood stories like mine tend to get buried under the glut of smut over there. So Ao3 really isn't my favorite, though I have enough readers there to make the tedium of posting worthwhile. And I do like that you can link fan art to Ao3 stories. I've been blessed with a couple of very nice little drawings inspired by my Bucky stories. It's nice to be able to share them.

37. Talk about your current wips.
Um, I think I've already talked a lot about You Will Call Me Friend, but one of my favorite WIPs waiting in the wings is an AU about Bucky going after a HYDRA base on his own, having had his reunion with Steve and though still on a solo mission, now having a way to contact Steve & Sam if needed. He'll get himself into trouble being all heroic and saving kids, and Steve & Sam will come to his aid. It has me researching chemical weapons and I have to hope and pray my search history doesn't ping the NSA or Homeland Security. HEY, GOVERNMENT, IT'S JUST FOR A FICTIONAL STORY!!!

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

I've got so many really great reviewers, I hate to single out any, but one over at ff.net really made my day when she found You Will Call Me Friend quite a while after I first started posting it. Those late-to-the-party reviews, sometimes coming years later, are always a surprise burst of sunshine. I also love reviews that are sort of pure stream-of-flailing, if that makes sense. This was her review on finding the story and they've only gotten more grin-inducing since:

"Characterization, grammar, plot, Bucky, Steve, whump, humor, snark, heartwrenching angst...

I /like/ you.

Thank you for blessing the fandom with your excellent writing!"

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Occasionally. I got more in the LOTR fandom than Captain America. LOTR has its fill of condescending know-it-alls who aren't afraid to show you how superior their knowledge of canon is. *eyeroll* Cap's fandom has more of the "this is great when's the next chapter coming" types, which are annoying in some ways but forgiveable because they're simply eager for more and don't have a clue how long it takes to write a really good chapter. The culture is different between the fandoms--LOTR seems to have an understanding that critique is welcome (or the writer assumes they'll welcome it; in practice, I've found that they don't *really* welcome it at all o.O). Cap fandom seems more like "I wrote this thing and for whatever it's worth, good or bad, it's done and if you don't like it, hit the back button because this is how it stays." So you don't get as many of the supercilious sort of condescending reviews that plague LOTR & Tolkien. Every so often I'll hear about someone getting a comics-canon-obsessed fanboy take their AU to task, but that's pretty rare. Comicbook fanboys tend not to read much fanfic, or if they do, they're not leaving comments/reviews.

The LOTR rude reviews used to really bother me, but I'd leave them there and not argue back too much... I found that other reviewers did a great job of coming in and putting the rude person in their place. So I learned to simply thank them for reading and express that I was sorry we didn't agree. I usually don't remove the review, though there's been a couple that were just so ridiculously rude that I did delete them. At ff.net, I've had a few guest reviews that were off the chain weird and stupid... those I simply don't approve and they never see the light of day. I do have one guy over at ff.net that always leaves a guest review, which you can't reply to, that usually starts with "Great chapter as usual!!!" and then goes on to ask questions... which has me shaking my head because thank you but I CAN'T ANSWER YOU, GUEST REVIEWER! MAKE AN ACCOUNT ALREADY!!

*sigh*

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Hmm. An alternate ending to one of my own fics.... uhhhhh.... I can't do it! I tend to think so long and hard about how to end my stories that my brain won't come up with alternatives. Ummm.... yeah, nope, I got nothing.